It is no secret that scorpions can be quite terrifying. They appear to be a nightmarish mix of spider and crab, have a stinger that can pack a serious punch, can grow up to 9 inches in length, and are masters of hiding in nearly plain sight (a favorite hiding spot seems to be people’s shoes and socks). What is worse is they are mostly nocturnal, so walking around at night you may never realize just how close you were to one of these things placing a super painful sting into your ankle or foot. This combined with the 1,500 different types of scorpions that are found around the globe means they are more common than most people would like to admit.
Got Scorpions?
These facts leave us with a few questions: Got scorpions? Want to make sure you do not have scorpions? Do you like cute animals? Well, then, read on.
Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner, they stand up to two inches tall, 9 inches long, weighing in at 30 grams (that is 0.06 of a pound, I googled and did the conversion for you), fighting from any continent not named Antarctica, the scorpion! (Boooooooo).
Next, introducing their opponent, fighting out of the red corner, standing at 10 inches tall weighing in at a little over a pound, this fighter made a run last year for the cutest animal in Africa, the meerkat!
This will be a 3-round bout to the death, brought to you by our friends from HowToPest.com for their constant support of our fighters. (Yes, that was just a shameless plug after setting up a death match between a scorpion and a meerkat, sue me.)
Scorpions Natural Enemy
Now you may be thinking, “Bug blogger, have you lost your ever lovin’ mind? I don’t want the cute little meerkat to get stabbed and killed by the scary scorpion.” Have no fear. Have I ever led you astray? This isn’t a blog about murdering meerkats, silly. Now, continue on.
The actual result of the fight between a scorpion and a meerkat when seen in nature will surprise you. Turns out that meerkats are badass little mother truckers. They fight cobras on the daily, and one of their favorite treats? Fresh scorpions. They are actually a fan favorite among the meerkat population. National Geographic even described meerkats as “a scorpion’s worst nightmare.” (Yep, this bug blogger does her research!)
There is good news for the scorpion though since only older, mature meerkats have a chance to kill them since it takes years of watching others hunt to be able to learn to avoid the deadly stinger and successfully take down a kill. Right? Right?? WRONG! Turns out even baby meerkats have no problem putting the scorpions into the long sleep. The best thing for a scorpion to do when they find themselves around meerkats? Hope to never be found.
How To Get Rid of Scorpions?
Now you might ask, “But bug blogger, I have never seen a meerkat for sale at our local pet store, how do you suppose we go about getting a meerkat so we can get rid of the scorpions?”
Simple, since owning a meerkat is illegal here in the United States, you have three options.
Option 1: You buy a one-way ticket for a flight from your local international airport and fly over to Africa, where you book yourself for a local safari expedition that has meerkats on the animal viewing list. You then rent out a truck and pay off the local tour guide to help you catch a meerkat, which could prove to be difficult as they hide underground and are quite smart. Once you get the little critter, you book a private jet back to the U.S. as Southwest will not be allowing illegal meerkats to be brought on their flight as an “emotional support animal.” Get the meerkat back home, introduce it to your family, and let it begin its work. Cost, approximately $300,000 and potential jail time.
Option 2: You pack up your things and move to the U.K. where it is not illegal to own a meerkat. Cost on this option may vary.
Option 3: Click HERE and get what HowToPest.com considers the equivalent of a meerkat in a bottle. This option is guaranteed to be even more effective against scorpions than the one meerkat that you paid $300,000 for, and much simpler as well, and there’s no threat of spending time in the big house.
I may be biased, but I am thinking there just might be things far worse than scorpions in the pokie, so I’m all about Option 3.
Bug blogger out.
